rob the bartender
Feb. 1st, 2005 01:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trocheeI went out on Saturday night with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thevorak and imtboo at St. Clouds (yes, beckyb's stomping grounds) to hear thevorak's (ex?)-boy friend C. play drums for a very good Cowboy-Junkies-ish four-piece band (bass, guitar, drums, vocals). It was a relaxed evening for me and imtboo, but thevorak was kind of panicky around talking with C., because she's not sure how they should relate.
That's really why we were there: we were backup forthevorak. But things seemed to be okay, and we sat around and socialized with some of C.'s friends who were also there, and with other people who were there. imtboo knows somebody everywhere; I'm very impressed. One guy got up to play a couple of duets with the lead singer, and her reaction was "hey -- it's R! I was in a rock musical with him last year." She knows everybody.
The bartender --although very slow in actually getting drinks/food -- was sociable and started off trying to impress us all with his various knowledge.thevorak and a friend had been folding fancy shapes out of their napkins, and he came over and started talking origami shite and took every opportunity to talk about all the crazy ninja training he had. Actually it was one step up from saying "I am trained in ways to flip out and kill people" because he claimed that ninjitsu was all American nonsense (probably true) and that he was training in the real thing (possibly true, but what a weird thing to say -- it reminds me of this).
We were all heavily irritated. And then he started talking about languages. Most readers of this journal are aware that (unlike ninjitsu) I know something about languages. (imtboo and I had been speculating about his accent.) Turns out he's Welsh (he was very excited to learn that imtboo was from Breton Brittany/Bretagne) but he wouldn't believe that Gaelic and Welsh and Bretagne Brezhoneg were all Celtic languages. He got really aggressive about how Gaelic was really different ("it just has a different cadence, and I couldn't understand it"), which was making me progressively more and more shut down and backed off, but I kept saying "I dunno, but I think I know something about language, and I'm pretty sure that they're in the same family."
After declaring that his next languages would be Arabic and Japanese, and dropping "casually" that he knew Swahili and Hausa, he finally settled down (I don't know why --imtboo said it was because I kept not taking the bait) and decided that we could have a real conversation. (Did I mention that during this entire conversation, he was ignoring his customers by sitting at our table and calling imtboo and thevorak "luv"?) Then, he decided he wanted to talk about the linguistics in Snow Crash (which I may have mentioned are crap) and how they had to be right.
What's really amazing to me is that I finally left the bar thinking "that guy's frustrating -- but I could imagine being a regular where I show up once or twice a week to have a drink and a sociable argument." I actually introduced myself; turns out his name is Rob.
Today, that reminds me of the relationship between Vary and the professor in Mystery Date (ah, I'm always flacking for Carla Speed McNeil, aren't I): the professor isn't seeking any of the things from Vary that she's used to offering, especially to men: sex, dance, art, music. Instead, he really wants someone to argue with. She finds an unusual way to provide that.
It's making me think about my own relationships -- what do I seek in people around me? am I looking for people to argue with? Is that a good thing? I think (for both) the answer is yes.
And among those I can safely argue with, and still be confident of trust and honesty, I am happy to includeimtboo. Thanks for being there, D~.
thevorak and imtboo at St. Clouds (yes, beckyb's stomping grounds) to hear thevorak's imtboo, but thevorak was kind of panicky around talking with C., because she's not sure how they should relate.That's really why we were there: we were backup for
thevorak. But things seemed to be okay, and we sat around and socialized with some of C.'s friends who were also there, and with other people who were there. imtboo knows somebody everywhere; I'm very impressed. One guy got up to play a couple of duets with the lead singer, and her reaction was "hey -- it's R! I was in a rock musical with him last year." She knows everybody.The bartender --although very slow in actually getting drinks/food -- was sociable and started off trying to impress us all with his various knowledge.
thevorak and a friend had been folding fancy shapes out of their napkins, and he came over and started talking origami shite and took every opportunity to talk about all the crazy ninja training he had. Actually it was one step up from saying "I am trained in ways to flip out and kill people" because he claimed that ninjitsu was all American nonsense (probably true) and that he was training in the real thing (possibly true, but what a weird thing to say -- it reminds me of this).We were all heavily irritated. And then he started talking about languages. Most readers of this journal are aware that (unlike ninjitsu) I know something about languages. (
imtboo and I had been speculating about his accent.) Turns out he's Welsh (he was very excited to learn that imtboo was from After declaring that his next languages would be Arabic and Japanese, and dropping "casually" that he knew Swahili and Hausa, he finally settled down (I don't know why --
imtboo said it was because I kept not taking the bait) and decided that we could have a real conversation. (Did I mention that during this entire conversation, he was ignoring his customers by sitting at our table and calling imtboo and thevorak "luv"?) Then, he decided he wanted to talk about the linguistics in Snow Crash (which I may have mentioned are crap) and how they had to be right.What's really amazing to me is that I finally left the bar thinking "that guy's frustrating -- but I could imagine being a regular where I show up once or twice a week to have a drink and a sociable argument." I actually introduced myself; turns out his name is Rob.
Today, that reminds me of the relationship between Vary and the professor in Mystery Date (ah, I'm always flacking for Carla Speed McNeil, aren't I): the professor isn't seeking any of the things from Vary that she's used to offering, especially to men: sex, dance, art, music. Instead, he really wants someone to argue with. She finds an unusual way to provide that.
It's making me think about my own relationships -- what do I seek in people around me? am I looking for people to argue with? Is that a good thing? I think (for both) the answer is yes.
And among those I can safely argue with, and still be confident of trust and honesty, I am happy to include
imtboo. Thanks for being there, D~.
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-01 11:11 pm (UTC)but I think that's just it. I like having conversations that way; yet most people here find that style to be "argumentative" or "aggressive". And indeed Rob was argumentative in that way -- but it was a subtle change from being an irritating man to a European having a discussion. And if you hadn't been there to talk about it with me later I'm not sure I would have seen the difference.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-02 12:03 am (UTC)And also it's still true that he has an incredibly huge ego and irritating performative streak.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-02 12:12 am (UTC)then there's two of us when I go back and have a beer with him!
no subject
Date: 2005-02-02 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-02 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-02 12:44 am (UTC)