trochee

Back in the day, I too was once an undergrad. It happened to many of us grad students. As such, we had much more free time. This is a story from those happy days, and I am reminded of it because of a thread started over in

moroveus journal (during a much more serious discussion).

I was leaving the dining hall one evening back in 1995 and found the following poster:
Are you...
...tired of being considered evil for not sharing the dominant view?
...frustrated that every discussion on campus is saturated with liberal ideology?
...an intelligent, rational thinker too often branded as a self-righteous fool?
...hungry for an outlet and audience for your reasoned arguments against social engineers, corrupt, appeasing politicians (of all varieties), and the irresponsible, inattentive herds that tacitly accept what they have been told as indisputable fact?
...so certain that you are right that you will take a stand and defend your beliefs?
...DISGUSTED BY THE IMPLICIT UNDERSTANDING THAT HOLDING
A CONSERVATIVE OPINION IS A CRIME?

If you see your thoughts in any of these statements,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
JOIN US
and make the world respect the thinking mind.
Introducing [College]'s only
Conservative monthly --
THE PRECEPT
For information, call [Name] [number] [email] or [Name] [number] [email]

(I'm really not doing justice to the original formatting. If you can believe it, it was worse than this -- it changed fonts every few paragraphs, for example.) As if that wasn't self-damning enough ("see your thoughts in statements?" "so certain you are right"?), it was plastered -- sometimes three deep -- all over campus. I tore one off an overloaded bulletin board and -- feeling irresistibly compelled, and in a stroke of mayhem, sat down in the college computer lab and banged out the following:
Are you...
...tired of being considered evil for not sharing the dominant view?
...frustrated that every meat source on campus is limited to "livestock?"
...an intelligent reader of Jonathan Swift who understands that below parody lies a deeper meaning?
...hungry for an outlet and audience for your reasoned arguments against limiting our culinary options, corrupt, tradition-bound social and dining planners, and the irresponsible, inattentive herds that tacitly accept what they have been told as indisputable fact?
...so certain that you are right that you will take a stand and defend your beliefs?
...DISGUSTED BY THE IMPLICIT UNDERSTANDING THAT
EATING HUMAN FLESH IS A CRIME?

If you see your thoughts in any of these statements,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
JOIN US
and make the world respect its culinary options.
Introducing [College]'s only
Necrophagic journal and cookbook --
THE POST-CRYPT
For information, call Campus Crusade for Cthulhu, x0666 or email <hell_portal@[college].edu>, attn: Flesh Eaters

Heh. I made 150 copies and put them up on campus near the other posters. We never heard from the Precept again -- but I can't really take responsibility for that. Self-important swellheads can sink their own boats without any sabotage from nerdy lefties like me.

Those were the days, eh?