My submission to UNLP

[trochee]

My abstract for the UNLP workshop:

High-speed, high-entropy parse forest pruning with TUNGUSKA

[name]
Transylvania Polygnostic University
High Energy Magic Building

Genetic Algorithms are a popular theory, especially because we hear that genetics research is well-funded these days, and we suspect that government agencies often use bag-of-words models to make grant decisions. [Please take note that this research has no bearing on terrorism, biostatistics of terrorism, biostatistical terror, or the missing chemical weaponry in Iraq.] Growing sophistication in these algorithms has incorporated more and more analogies from evolutionary and molecular biology, including "crossover", "mutation", "island effects", "Dr. Moreau", and "wolf-boy".

[Alvarez and Alvarez] propose that the superorder /Dinosauria/ was erased by a long-distance movement phenomenon involving a kiloton ice comet, bringing in the advent of angiosperms known as "trees". Our TUNGUSKA system implements an analogous method for construction of syntactic trees designed to follow these trends. Our parser, implemented in SNOBOL, uses catastrophic destruction of a treebank or parse forest to provide an ecological niche for new trees, using a BLAST and PSI-BLAST pruning technique only recently approved by the Department of Energy.

We present current results in the first stages of this experiment, which has a large effective radius and has resulted in great support from nearby surviving faculty, who are happy to move their offices to accomodate our research. Many have issued supportive comments like "if you run that thing again you'll kill us all." They laughed at us at the academy, but who's laughing now?

Ah, I crack myself up.

Comments

[fructivore.livejournal.com]

You kids and your new-fangled toys. I'll stick with Evolved Redundantly -Ordered Symmetric Interpellation for Overlay Networks, myself. Slower, but time-tested.

[trochee.livejournal.com]

hee hee. You'd probably like Girl Genius if you don't already read it.

[fructivore.livejournal.com]

Curse you again!

At least this one isn't all up on the web yet. My evening is saved.

[xaosenkosmos.livejournal.com]

Time-tested? Dude, that technique is older than dirt!

[ex-caracola454.livejournal.com]

You are so brilliant! Hee.
Hey, found a place yet?

[trochee.livejournal.com]

thanks!

no place yet. So far each one I've seen has been better than previous, so I'm going to keep looking a little. I am thinking somewhere along 19th would be optimal.

[boobirdsfly.livejournal.com]

I concur. On the brilliancy. Oh . Have I told you I am dating him ?

[ex-caracola454.livejournal.com]

Hey, hey: I was just sayin he was brilliant, that's all. Purely platonic.


;-)

[boobirdsfly.livejournal.com]

Oh I know ! Shit, miscommunication. I was saying "have i told you.." as a joke, because you hooked us up, not as a "are you flirting..."
See ?

[ex-caracola454.livejournal.com]

Just jokin. I knew you didn't think that. I was just taking advantage of the lack of intonational clarification in this medium of communication.

;-)

[boobirdsfly.livejournal.com]

Grr.. you ... opportunist ! Let's make new punctuation. Now !!!Web punctuation. And i don't mean lol or omg . I mean real punctuation.

[ex-caracola454.livejournal.com]

Seriously... I've often thought about that. Like, for example, when writing my thesis:



Couldn't we teach people the pitch reading tricks (simple, really) and incorporate them in our discourse -- so sarcasm/irony/sincerity wouldn't be misinterpreted?
Hmmm.

[trochee.livejournal.com]

Hm... where's Lesley when we need her?

We could include ToBI annotations and it will make the intended reading clear! If only we can force everyone to learn ToBI.

... oh, wait -- that doesn't even work. that's actually the point of my thesis, too.

damn! another Good Idea foiled by that pesky "Evidence"!

[boobirdsfly.livejournal.com]

That's a great idea ! I didn't know that was your thesis subject !

[boobirdsfly.livejournal.com]

*Bouton D'alimentation*
You're so funny.