Well, Trochee has certainly preached a good one here. I couldn't agree more.
I find this whole business quite problematic. I want to support my queer friends who are down at the capitol marching against an amendment to the state constitution which would make marriage only possible between a man and a woman in our state. I agree with my friends that marriage shouldn't be limited to hetero couples, but I can't say I'm comfortable with marriage in the first place. I myself had a wedding ceremony, but am not totally sure that we are actually legally "Married," though after 33.3+ years it's rather a moot point. The whole history of marriage relating to women as property is definitely problematic -- and certainly in our culture it's no sure thing that marriage leads to love, caring or stability. There are tons of marriages which have no love -- for some it never did, for some it disappeared -- and forcing people to stay married who don't want to isn't healthy either, that's for sure.
So why should we fight for gay folks to have the right to marry? Because along with those wedding vows come legal rights to make decisions, to inherit, to relate to offspring, and, in our pitiful country, to have health care -- if one of the spouses is lucky enough to work for an organization that has health care benefits, that is.
What we really need is to separate religion and legalities -- leave "marriage" to the religions and have a legal status that is open to everyone who wishes to take it on.
I guess I've repeated much of what Trochee said. We do indeed have light-years to go before we sleep!
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Marriage and Love
Date: 2004-02-20 04:04 pm (UTC)I find this whole business quite problematic. I want to support my queer friends who are down at the capitol marching against an amendment to the state constitution which would make marriage only possible between a man and a woman in our state. I agree with my friends that marriage shouldn't be limited to hetero couples, but I can't say I'm comfortable with marriage in the first place. I myself had a wedding ceremony, but am not totally sure that we are actually legally "Married," though after 33.3+ years it's rather a moot point. The whole history of marriage relating to women as property is definitely problematic -- and certainly in our culture it's no sure thing that marriage leads to love, caring or stability. There are tons of marriages which have no love -- for some it never did, for some it disappeared -- and forcing people to stay married who don't want to isn't healthy either, that's for sure.
So why should we fight for gay folks to have the right to marry? Because along with those wedding vows come legal rights to make decisions, to inherit, to relate to offspring, and, in our pitiful country, to have health care -- if one of the spouses is lucky enough to work for an organization that has health care benefits, that is.
What we really need is to separate religion and legalities -- leave "marriage" to the religions and have a legal status that is open to everyone who wishes to take it on.
I guess I've repeated much of what Trochee said. We do indeed have light-years to go before we sleep!