I guess you come by this naturally, Trochee. I have the same problem, though it's become somewhat muted as I age. I know what I consider "vehement political disagreement" has softened over the years. But I once terminated a friendship with someone who traveled to India and came back discussing ONLY the art. Just couldn't get her to talk about any of the starving people she had to have seen/stepped over, the beggars, the homeless, the pollution, the traffic, etc. etc. It was all buildings and sculpture. While those aspects are awesome, there is more to India than that, I am sure of it! And her inability to share any of that, put a deep rift in our friendship. I felt that there were core values that differed so much that I couldn't continue.
On the other hand, I am now close friends with people who go to church (an impossibility in an earlier era) and even with people who insist on praying for me (and telling me about it) -- well, not CLOSE friends with these latter, but friends. Of course these friends do share some core values with me -- caring for people, concern for those less fortunate than themselves, desire for change. I guess I have broadened my understanding of what is core and how it's interpreted.
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Friendship
Date: 2003-12-22 03:53 pm (UTC)On the other hand, I am now close friends with people who go to church (an impossibility in an earlier era) and even with people who insist on praying for me (and telling me about it) -- well, not CLOSE friends with these latter, but friends. Of course these friends do share some core values with me -- caring for people, concern for those less fortunate than themselves, desire for change. I guess I have broadened my understanding of what is core and how it's interpreted.