My abstract for the UNLP workshop
High-speed, high-entropy parse forest pruning with TUNGUSKA
Transylvania Polygnostic University
High Energy Magic Building
Genetic Algorithms are a popular theory, especially because we
hear that genetics research is well-funded these days, and we suspect
that government agencies often use bag-of-words models to make grant
decisions. [Please take note that this research has no bearing on
terrorism, biostatistics of terrorism, biostatistical terror, or the
missing chemical weaponry in Iraq.] Growing sophistication in these
algorithms has incorporated more and more analogies from evolutionary
and molecular biology, including "crossover", "mutation", "island
effects", "Dr. Moreau", and "wolf-boy".
[Alvarez and Alvarez] propose that the superorder /Dinosauria/ was
erased by a long-distance movement phenomenon involving a kiloton ice
comet, bringing in the advent of angiosperms known as "trees". Our
TUNGUSKA system implements an analogous method for construction of
syntactic trees designed to follow these trends. Our parser,
implemented in SNOBOL, uses catastrophic destruction of a treebank or
parse forest to provide an ecological niche for new trees, using a
BLAST and PSI-BLAST pruning technique only recently approved by the
Department of Energy.
We present current results in the first stages of this experiment,
which has a large effective radius and has resulted in great support
from nearby surviving faculty, who are happy to move their offices to
accomodate our research. Many have issued supportive comments like
"if you run that thing again you'll kill us all." They laughed at us
at the academy, but who's laughing now?
Ah, I crack myself up.